Jan. 11 (Bulletinstandard) — Sarah Hyland was “very shut” to suicide as she struggled with well being points over the previous few years.

The 28-year-old actress mentioned her expertise with suicidal ideas and despair throughout Friday’s episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Present.

“On the time, I used to be 26, and after 26, 27 years of at all times being sick and being in continual ache each single day and you do not know when you are going to have the subsequent good day, it is actually, actually laborious,” Hyland instructed host Ellen DeGeneres.

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“I might write letters in my head to family members — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, the way it’s no one’s fault,” she stated of her suicidal ideas. “And I did not wish to write it down on paper as a result of I did not need anybody to seek out it.”

The Fashionable Household star has undergone two kidney transplants and 16 surgical procedures throughout her lifetime. She was “very, very, very, very shut” to ending her personal life when she lastly shared her emotions with another person.

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“It ended up being myself that obtained me out of that,” the star stated. “I needed to do it by myself. I instructed myself I needed to do it by myself.”

“I lastly stated it out loud to somebody,” she recalled. “Simply saying it out loud helped immensely as a result of I stored it to myself for months and months at a time.”

Hyland beforehand instructed Self journal she contemplated suicide after her first kidney transplant, which got here from her dad, failed.

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“I used to be very depressed,” she stated. “When a member of the family offers you a second probability at life, and it fails, it nearly feels prefer it’s your fault. It isn’t. Nevertheless it does.”

Hyland performs Haley Dunphy on Fashionable Household, which is in its 10th season on ABC. The collection co-stars Ed O’Neill, Sofia Vergara, Ty Burrell, Julie Bowen and Ariel Winter.

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